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2008
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February
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- What is a list of what I am looking at (Now)_02_22_08
- Goal and Reworked Storyboard
- Rethink idea for story board_02_15_08
- First shot of screen_02_15_08
- Comments after class critque_02_13_08
- Leave comments for assignment 1 here
- Storyboarding 02_12_087
- 3 Short Technical Review
- Inclass Animation 2_06_08
- Inclass Animation 1_30_08
- In class free write
- Research Prospoasl_01/06/08
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February
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3 comments:
I would say practice saying these things aloud, as if you were in a conversation with someone. and type them out that way. The grammar is off at times, and I realize thats okay when it's a conversation but it doesn't sound very natural here. Also perhaps some of the text could stay up longer and fade away slowly? especially the last big paragraph. Another color than white, or different location could be good, since the text is lost a little in their hands.
Maybe, like in The Kid Stays In The Picture, you could animate some little aspect of them as they are talking, hair moving, or eyes blinking, it would make the images alot more dynamic.
I think that you have a story that could become something better. I'd take the part about the Uncle and maybe cut to some scenes of him showing the passage to his niece.
I also tyhink that the talking between the two people goes on a little long you could probably cut out about half of what they are saying because they repeat themselves a couple of times. Also think about who you are going to show this to, most kids I know don't have issues about sex, and might be turned away by the straight talk in your animation. If you made it more about self worth and love and left out the sex part , I think more people would want to relate to it.
i think that was well put together. the set up, the anticipation, everything for me went well. the only problem i had was with the words going a little to fast. if it were just a bit slower, it would do well.
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